Signs You’re a Journalist

I’ve been playing around with this list for a while, and it may still change, but since I haven’t been blogging as much as I’d like, I thought I’d go on and post this and then tinker with it as I go, or whatever.

Signs You’re a Journalist

You refer to your schoolteacher friend as “that rich bitch.”

You use allegedly in everyday conversation: “He’s the best sex she’s ever had. Allegedly.”

Your student loan debt is more than your annual salary.

Your Christmas bonus is the announcement that the newspaper will be able to keep publishing for the first half of next year and maybe even the fall as well.

You can turn the phrase “Journalists do it AP style” into a pickup line.

The ad department tells you that a big advertiser will cancel their ad unless they get more Web traffic through your paper’s Web site, prompting the newsroom to spend the rest of the day clicking repeatedly on their ad.

You hate it when people say someone “passed away” or “entered into her rest.” People die. Then they’re dead. That’s it, damnit.

Family members tell you, “You know, I don’t read newspapers because they’re all biased, but this article you wrote isn’t bad. Have you ever thought of working for Fox News?”

You don’t believe in using exclamation marks unless it’s in a story announcing the return of Jesus and the impending Rapture of his (not His) followers into heaven.

If the above did happen, there would more than enough staff left to cover it.

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3 Comments

Filed under Media Whore

3 responses to “Signs You’re a Journalist

  1. So I suppose I’m “that rich bitch.” Allegedly. :oP

  2. dorothyzbornak

    HA! This is so true. I use “allegedly” all the time, along with a bunch of other words my BFF lovingly refers to as “one of your journalism words.” And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had friends and family say, “you can’t trust the media,” and then catch themselves and say, “except for you.” Nice.

  3. clever.otter

    Journalists do it daily.

    People give me shit about not wanting to be on TV all the time and I really don’t get it. So that should go on the list, too.

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