PMS and Dave Barry

I have PMS, which means everything, including tree bark, makes me cry while also annoying the shit out of me. I am also tired and did not have time to shower this morning, which really enhances the effect.

I couldn’t find my keys this morning. I was cursing and ready to cry because I was already late and oh God this was just another sign of what a bad irresponsible person I am and how can I almost be 24 when I’m so damn irresponsible? Turns out my keys were in my purse, in a side pocket. I found this out about 15 minutes into the desperate search.

Get in the car and go to work. I’m almost out of gas, but that’s too fuckin’ bad. I’m going to have to just suck it up and get there anyway, with or without gas. And if I run out of gas and end up on the side of the road, I deserve it, for being a bad irresponsible person who can’t even get up early enough to shower.

I get to work, and things continue to make me want to cry/annoy the shit out of me. This includes every man, woman, child and soda can in the building. Why don’t we have water in the vending machines? Do they know how unhealthy that is? Are they trying to destroy our teeth?

Then I ended up reading a couple of columns by Dave Barry, who I wish wrote more of them in his semi-retirement. His last new one, on traffic in Miami, had me howling. He is, however, running for president. Which just might unite the Democrats. Heck, it just might unite the whole nation. And if anyone can take Florida from McCain, it’s Barry. This one is from 2001, and it’s even more true now, seven years later.

Get me rewrite!

I have to go now. I think there might be some news breaking out in the parking lot.

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