Scar-Jo, Ry-Rey Marry

So People has an “EXCLUSVE!” Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds got married, y’all! The Marriage of Ryan and Scarlett Good for them for “breaking” the news and all, but it makes it sound as though, if they appear in the pages of US Weekly or OK!, they’re still just engaged. Ohh, parallel tabloid universes!

I thought their engagement in May was odd, I think getting married so quickly is odd, and I think this marriage is going to last about as long as it takes me to eat this lasagna (that’s not an insult; this is a buttload of lasagna).

But yes, I know, I’m not a celeb, and I don’t have to have all my choices held out for public consumption and judgment. I just have to finish this lasagna.

Alanis, dear, you’re too good for him anyway.

And that sound you all hear now is a million sad young men weeping into their copies of Vanity Fair, above. And Tom Ford, I don’t care if you’re gay, straight, bisexual or into sex with produce, that cover is still totally skeevy. And your perfume makes me gag. Much like your leering on this cover.

Think they’ll make it to the 2012 election?


Filed under News

3 responses to “Scar-Jo, Ry-Rey Marry

  1. I just think they’re such an odd pairing. Not two people I’d have imagined together. But then, my opinion of them as a couple (I don’t think it will last) is probably colored by my immense disdain for ScarJo. She just annoys me to no end for some reason. I think she’s officially taken Jennifer Love Hewitt’s place as the “Celebrity I Hate for No Good Reason.”

  2. They are an odd pairing, but I always like when celebrities don’t treat their personal milestones as extraordinary money-making schemes.

  3. It takes a lot to get me to stop respecting you if I’ve decided I do. Scarlett has done that.

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