I’ve been toying with this for a while, but I’ve decided it is time to unveil a new feature, whereupon I discuss the various types of fast food out there for all you people who don’t care about your health and want to die fat and alone (raises hand). Oh sorry, I’m sounding like a Subway commercial, aren’t I?
I would say this will happen on Friday and be called Fast Food Friday, but well, I’m not reliable like that, so for now, it’ll just happen whenever. I may eventually call it Fast Food Friday no matter what day it’s on, much like the Ben Folds Five group had only three members.
Today’s subject? Popeye’s Chicken and Biscuits, which is also coincidentally, tonight’s dinner. What a coinky-dink.
Headquartered in Atlanta, Popeye’s bills itself as the second-largest quick-service chicken restaurant group, per their Wiki page. They have more than 1,800 restaurants in 40 states. I first discovered their loveliness in college, or maybe it was when I moved here. It wasn’t too long ago, but moving on.
-The biscuits are basically an orgasm in starch form.
– The chicken has flavor. I’ll eat KFC in a pinch, but it just doesn’t taste as good. Even with the mild flavor I prefer, it’s got, as the restaurant claims, “a kick.”
-The ranch dressing. Dip your chicken tenders, onion rings, all of it in it. They have probably my favorite fast-food ranch dressing.
-They often have coupons in the local paper, at least around here. You are reading your local paper, right?
-My cat, without fail, will try to get it. She does not beg. She just tries to climb up to wherever it is and take it without asking, although she will mew in protest sometimes. She is picky and tries hard to look bored by most silly human food, so this says something.
-Some restaurants have apparently taken to charging 15 cents per container if you want more than one ranch dressing. This bothers me, but lately, at least around here, they haven’t been such a hard-ass about it. It just seems like a case of unnecessary nitpicking. I almost always get two, by the way, so I’m not trying to break them via ranch dressing.
-Again, this may vary with location, but they seem to like their religion. Which is fine, but I want chicken and biscuits, not chicken and religion. Most of it’s fairly innocuous, although I do get a little cranky when I’m told to “Have a blessed day!” or have to listen to Christian music as I wait for my food. But these aren’t huge deals, just minor annoyances for godless heathens who like chicken. And hey, they are open on Sunday!
My final grade for Popeye’s: A –
Ever been to Popeye’s, and how did you like it? If so, fill out our customer survey at-oh wait, nevermind. Just leave a comment. And feel free to suggest any other fast food joints (no, that’s not a White Castle reference).