I was going to go to bed, but then I got a nosebleed. So instead I have stuffed petroleum jelly up my nose and am hanging out here a little longer, where I can be in an upright position. Otherwise I lay down and nearly choke to death.
I know it sounds bad, but truthfully, I just am a whiny person. I’ve dealt with this to some degree all my life. It gets a bit better when I stay on my allergy meds consistently, and when the various pollens and mold don’t meet up at the Blooming Justice League headquarters and decide to torment me all at once. It got worse when I moved to my current location two years ago. When I first moved here, I had vertigo sometimes. Still do occasionally, but not nearly as often.
I have used nasal rinses, which are weird but oddly satisfying when you’re done. I’ve done the saline sprays. Petroleum jelly moistens the passages. Humidifiers are nice, but my cat loves to try and knock them over. She only succeeds some of the time, but that’s a bit too often. And don’t try to barricade the humidifier or something. It just pisses her off and makes her even more determined to destroy you. Also, a few times I woke up with a humidifier and felt like I was in a sauna or something from all the uh, humidity.
So I do what I can. Maybe I blow my nose too often or attack it too often with a Kleenex. Which, according to something I read once, makes you more likely to have an aneurysm. Fabulous. But no, sometimes I can go days. Often I go days, but then it flares up and all at once I’m a disgusting bloody person who can barely leave the bathroom at work without shoving tissue up a nostril. And that is decidedly not professional.
Supposedly I inherited this from my grandfather, because he gets them too, as does my mom, although to a slightly lesser degree. Maybe I have weak nasal vessels. To go with my weak teeth, disturbed and muddled brain, and toes that are spaced too far apart. Thanks, family.
Not that I really want to, but I can never ingest illegal substances through my nostrils. Oh god, can you imagine the massacre? I already feel like Amy Winehouse, stumbling around with vertigo and a tissued nose, muttering about Blake Incarcerated.
Anyone else have any odd or unusual or just plain annoying medical ailments to share while I consider getting into a horizontal position?