In the mail today came the latest ULTA catalog. I settled down to flip through it, and on one of the pages was something that startled me: a line of lipstick from Urban Decay called Pocket Rocket.
You see, inside each tube is a “yummy man.” Another site says it combines two of girls “favorite things: guys and gloss!” Actually, I was thinking Carmex and kittens. But OK.
Leaving aside the snicker-worthy name, I do not want a guy staring at me everytime I apply lip gloss. I don’t care how dreamy he is or isn’t. I don’t care if he’s holding a baby or a ventriloquist dummy or whatever the heck “Julio” has in his arms. Do. Not. Want. Especially not for $19. Cover Girl or Revlon will be fine, thanks. And why does the “James” fellow look a bit like Christian Siriano? Because I don’t know if “put a gay in your pocket” is going to sell that great, either.