First off, I didn’t watch American Idol this season. So that makes me uniquely uh, qualified, to judge it. I have been reading about it, but for various reasons, I stopped watching a few years ago. There are reasons for that, but I’m here tonight to talk about if being gay messed up Glambert’s (is that what they call him?) chances to win.
I’m in the same state as Kris Allen, and well, it’s possible that anti-gay factions cost Adam Lambert the win, but if it was a really concerted effort do deny an evil sodomite success on American Idol, they kind of failed. I mean, he made it to second place. And if these people are that concerned about flamboyance and the possibility of alternative lifestyles, why the eff are they watching this show?
And while it’s possible that in a few days, we’ll find out one million calls were made from the residence of a Mr. Bill O’Reilly, for now I don’t see any way to determine that homophobes made the difference. If the phone lines were jammed, so be it. I doubt the operator asked “Now, are you a good Christian who will vote for the Righteous Idol? Please hold while I record your vote.”
And second place may be the best place to be anyway. My friend Jeff was telling me that Bo Bice (remember him?) said he liked being in second better than if he’d won. Apparently there’s less pressure and a little more freedom, plus you don’t have to release the horrible song about all your dreams coming true and how you will now ride away victoriously on a unicorn.
And the AP wrote something about how apparently Americans could only take Lambert “to a point.” Really? You mean like they did with oh, whatshisname…Taylor Hicks. How’s he doing?
Kris Allen seems like a pretty decent guy, though. If there were people who wanted him to win because he was a straight Christian and Glambert is a gay musical theater actor, I doubt Allen was telling them to do that. He was even quoted as saying whoever wins “shouldn’t be about religion,” but music. Well, a lot of American Idol isn’t about music-see the early rounds as proof-but that’s a good attitude to take. And from what I’m reading and hearing, he’s a talented guy, so it’s not like a slobbering, drooling idiot who couldn’t stand upright onstage has been awarded the crown.
I’ve gone on way too long about a show I don’t even watch, but I think both these guys will be fine. They may or may not have careers. Once you get this far, it almost doesn’t matter where you finish. Maybe Kris fans knew he was an underdog and were more inclined to vote. Maybe he needed a win more than Adam. Or maybe who is “the real American Idol” (whatever that means) will sort itself out in good time. There are no guarantees, except that you will be locked into a ridiculous contract that forces you to hand over your soul to the producers for the next year or so. But then you get the chance to make some halfway decent stuff, so hold on till then.
Just looking at the L.A. Times, and they’re also not worried. And they, presumably, watched the show. There is room for two kinds of musicians. Until the Supreme Court, led by Chief Justice Ellen DeGeneres, orders everyone to be gay and sing gay songs and gay-marry, that is.