Dear Jerry Jones

Sports Illustrated, December 2008

Sports Illustrated, December 2008

On Jan. 3, 2010, I’d like to suggest a gimmick for the last home game of the season: Let people bring in their dogs. Now, I know this is unorthodox, but hear me out. See, the opponent that day is none other than the Philadelphia Eagles, who just signed Michael PrickVick. You could give out dog bones in Vick’s likeness, and if you’re worried about the dogs doing their business all over your new billion-dollar stadium, well, give out little baggies and scoops with a No. 7 on them (although I don’t know if Vick will be wearing that number in Philly, and if he isn’t, substitute whatever number he is wearing).

Also, if you wanted to give the referees some seeing eye dogs, I doubt anyone would complain. Maybe some pit bulls like the ones Vick used in his dogfighting ring? Heck, iit might cut down on the “Are you blind, ref?” taunts. OK,maybe not.


To everyone else: Yes, I know Vick “did his time” and such, and has a right to a living. I know he’s been out of football for two years already. I just don’t buy that he necessarily deserves the right to earn a living in one of the premier sports leagues out there.

I also know there are people who have committed violence against people, not dogs, and still play in the NFL. I still don’t like it. And it seems like Vick was always a better runner than a thrower. A good athlete, yes. But this year, there’s potential for a distraction, with QB Donovan McNabb already getting his ego wounded after he got benched briefly last season.

I doubt Vick will start anytime soon. He may not start at all this year. But regardless of if and when he plays, I hope the guys on the other side of the ball give him just as much mercy as he gave those dogs. He’s a serial killer, just of dogs instead of people. Maybe that makes me sound like a member of PETA, but oh well. I am glad he’s doing activities with the Humane Society to speak out against dogfighting, but I still doubt he really has that much remorse.

And if you want to cry in a (mostly) good way, read the cover story Sports Illustrated did on the dogs that were seized from Bad Newz Kennels and are now recovering: Sports Ilustrated: Happy New Year


1 Comment

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One response to “Dear Jerry Jones

  1. Here’s the thing: Yes, he did his time. And yes, he’s apologized and acted so sorry and blah, blah, blah. But as I saw someone say on Twitter (Lord, forgive me for using that phrase!) today, I think his sorrow and regret have a lot more to do with his getting caught than his feeling bad about dog fighting.

    Never fear though, the Vicks are fuck-ups (remember his brother, who couldn’t even stay straight long enough to finish up at Va. Tech?). He’ll do something else before it’s all over with, and hopefully we won’t have to see his stupid ass on the field again.

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