Why Favre Came Back

photo by Jerry Holt, Star Tribune

photo by Jerry Holt, Star Tribune

Some say he just loves to play too much, and will play until his organs have to be retrieved from the field and returned to him. Others say he wants revenge on the Packers for daring to get sick of his indecisiveness. But Breaking Blues has the real reasons behind Brett Favre’s return:

– If Obama gets his way, retired QBs will have to appear before death panels who decide whether they can live or must be taken out back and electrocuted by Michael Vick.

– Gets to sleep with other players’ wives whenever he wants.

– Gets to sleep with other players whenever he wants.

– Contract stipulates that he can play preseason games in his Wranglers, because he’s just so gosh-darn comfortable in ’em.

– To those who are worried that his indecisiveness will carry over to the field, rest assured he won’t take too much time to think, but instead will just throw the ball up there and see where it lands.

– Can finally fulfill lifelong dream of appearing on Garrison Keillor’s A Prairie Home Companion.

– Gets to leave practice early when Mall of America is having a sale.

– Once again, retired without remembering that he makes his offseason home in Mississippi.

– Gets really uncomfortable when Brad Childress starts crying and begging.

– What was he supposed to do? Stay home and spend some quality time with his wife and kids?

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