Gators Shocked by Tebow’s Post-Concussion Personality

by lalaland13/Head Injury Writer
GAINESVILLE, FLA — Members of the Florida Gators were stunned today when Heisman-winning quarterback Tim Tebow arrived at practice on a Harley Davidson and cursed out some freshman for getting in his way.
“I can’t’ tell you why, but something’s changed since that concussion Saturday,” coach Urban Meyer told reporters. “It’s like his brain got shook loose of something, maybe.”
Known for being an outspoken evangelical Christian who makes good grades and avoids partying, Tebow now likes to walk around campus in a leather jacket and sunglasses, spitting casually on the sidewalk every now and then.
His teammates are unnerved by his sudden and dramatic change in behavior.
“Last night some girl tried to hit on him, and he usually acts flustered and says, ‘No thanks,'” wide receiver Riley Cooper said. “But last night, some pretty blonde walks up and he says, ‘Hey, nice ass. I’m the quarterback, you wanna be my center?”
Tebow then disappeared with the blonde. He reappeared 10 minutes later, smoking a cigarette and looking pleased with himself.
His parents say he refuses to go by “Tim” and now insists on being known as “T-Bone,” a nickname he emphasizes with a rude hip gesture.
“He denies that he ever did anything like go to the Phillipines and circumcise babies,” mom Pam Tebow said with a sigh. “He said only ‘queers’ would do that sort of thing. Then he asked if I had seen his bong.”
School officials are not sure when, or if, Tebow will revert to his old self, although a 20-year-old Florida student reported Tebow started weeping shortly after engaging in a threesome with her and another woman.
ESPN analyst Kirk Herbstreit said he still expects Tebow to lead the Gators to victory over LSU Oct. 10, “as long as he doesn’t show up drunk or high or anything.”


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