At night I often feel like an Onion op-ed:

I’m Going to Drift Off to Sleep Now vs. No, You Have to Pee

How have you been the last nine months, nobody? I can’t seem to quit this blog and let it vanish into the Interwebz either, so….

The other day I got a call from someone wanting to know if people in my profession can predict the future. I told her I had another call.

I’ve changed my voicemail message at work now. “Hello, thank you for calling. I can’t come to the phone right now. Please press 1 to speak with the future or 2 to speak with the past. For the present, please press 0, or just stay on the line.”


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