Tag Archives: Pageants

Pageant Queen Thinks Gays Are Icky

Eric Jamison/Associated Press

Eric Jamison/Associated Press

So on Sunday night, Miss White Anglo Saxton ProtestantUSA was crowned in Las Vegas. Winning was Miss North Carolina.

But the AP notes that the really interesting moment was when runner-up Miss California Carrie Prejean (above right) was asked her thoughts on gay marriage. Per the AP:

“We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage,” Prejean said. “And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised.”

Some in the audience cheered, others booed. The answer sparked a shouting match in the lobby after the show.

“It’s ugly,” said Scott Ihrig, a gay man, who attended the pageant with his partner. “I think it’s ridiculous that she got first runner-up. That is not the value of 95 percent of the people in this audience. Look around this audience and tell me how many gay men there are.”

Charmaine Koonce, the mother of Miss New Mexico USA Bianca Matamoros-Koonce, argued back.

“In the Bible it says marriage is between Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve!”

Koonce is right, you know. If you can rhyme and mention the Bible, then you are guaranteed to win every argument. If it’s in the Bible, then that ain’t libel. See?

And of course lots of people are raised to believe that hetorosexuality is the only option; many of them are gay anyway because guess what? The Bible can’t usurp how you’re hard-wired from birth.

And you can’t “choose” between same-sex or opposite sex unless you live in Vermont, Iowa, Massachusetts or Connecticut. People like Miss California voted to take that right away from gays in The Golden State.

I wonder if Prejean’s response had any part in Miss California being the runner-up instead of winner winner Lean Cuisine chicken dinner. I think it may have-for crying out loud, Perez Hilton was one of the judges. Miss California is doomed to have a semen dribble added to her photo now and forever.

No, I didn’t watch the show. I doubt many people did-even Miss America is struggling for relevancy. Pageants are generally not ahead of the curve on social issues. I vividly remember being 12 or 13, maybe younger, and seeing Miss Oklahoma tell the world she would advocate for saving sex for marriage if she won. I don’t believe she did.

Miss California may not have won, but I believe the makeup people voted her Most Irony-Free. Chica, you’re in a pageant. You get paid to look good. Don’t piss off the gays. And beware of that gay storm coming, as well:

Charmaine Koonce, the mother of Miss New Mexico USA Bianca Matamoros-Koonce, argued back.

“In the Bible it says marriage is between Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve!”

Koonce is right, you know. If you can rhyme and mention the Bible, then you are guaranteed to win every argument. If it’s in the Bible, then that ain’t libel. See?

And of course lots of people are raised to believe that hetorosexuality is the only option; many of them are gay anyway because guess what? The Bible can’t usurp how you’re hard-wired from birth.

And you can’t “choose” between same-sex or opposite sex unless you live in Vermont, Iowa, Massachusetts or Connecticut. People like Miss California voted to take that right away from gays in The Golden State.

I wonder if Prejean’s response had any part in Miss California being the runner-up instead of winner winner Lean Cuisine chicken dinner. I think it may have-for crying out loud, Perez Hilton was one of the judges. Miss California is doomed to have a semen dribble added to her photo now and forever.

No, I didn’t watch the show. I doubt many people did-even Miss America is struggling for relevancy. Pageants are generally not ahead of the curve on social issues. I vividly remember being 12 or 13, maybe younger, and seeing Miss Oklahoma tell the world she would advocate for saving sex for marriage if she won. I don’t believe she did.

Miss California may not have won, but I believe the makeup people voted her Most Irony-Free. Chica, you’re in a pageant. You get paid to look good. Don’t piss off the gays. And beware of that gay storm coming, as well:

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Pageant Winner Fails Post-Competition Inspection

by lalaland13/Chief Pageant Correspondent

ANDERSON, IND. – The winner of the state’s 2009 Miss Purity Pageant was stripped of her title Saturday after failing a post-pageant inspection.

Jessica Keys, 19, was declared the winner in the annual pageant sponsored by the Southern Baptist Convention of Indiana. However, after undergoing a physical by a doctor, officials declared her a fake.

“I am saddened to report that Ms. Keys does not live up to the standards of the Miss Purity Pageant,” pageant chair Daniel Flack said in a statement. “And if you think we’re disappointed, well, imagine what her husband is going to feel like on their wedding night.”

A source said Keys has been seeing Steve Jenks, 20, for the past two years. The source was not sure if Jenks would do the honorable thing, noting “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”

Taking over the title of Miss Purity Indiana is Helena Derringer, 20, the runner-up in the pageant.

At a press conference, Derringer reveled in her new title.

“I’m happy to represent the moral values and purity of The Hoosier State,” Derringer said. “I’m also praying for Jessica, that she will see the light.”

Derringer thanked her family and Jesus, and singled out one other contestant, 21-year-old Dana Brookhaven, who sat next to Derringer at the press conference.

“Dana and I have grown close over the course of the pageant, and I am honored to call her my friend. I know we’re going to be together forever.”

She then grabbed Brookaven’s right breast, then clarified that she did that “in a purely platonic way.”

Derringer will now go onto the Miss Purity America pageant in Colorado Springs, where she will compete against 49 other contestants to be the top virgin in America.

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